my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize