hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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