He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I intend to get homeless drunk
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
