My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
