It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
