question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
