I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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