I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There's a naked man in my car right now.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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