id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
