Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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