I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
