I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize