Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
