Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
