remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
