When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
