You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Found your dick twin last night
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
