No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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