we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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