arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
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