Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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