things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Randomize