I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
