Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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