That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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