And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
