what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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