God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
