sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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