i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
