i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Text me some of your sweat
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