how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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