There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize