I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
