scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize