He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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