just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
