i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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