My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
