never play flip cup with pint glasses
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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