Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
