i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
