Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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