Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
