Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
