whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
