break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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