Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm too high and old for this...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize