Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
