Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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