all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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