the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
