well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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