What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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