he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
