Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
