I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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