I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
