I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
