plz talk dirty to me
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
