That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
