my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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