Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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