A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
