We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
