she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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