I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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