your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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