im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
