I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
