What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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