Betty ford says i'm here all night
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize