I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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