I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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