I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
