ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
