I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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