We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
