Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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